Open Arms Series: Adopting in the U.S.

Guest Post by Angela

What is the need?

There are over 500,000 children in the U.S. foster care system today, and over 120,000 of those children are ready and waiting to be adopted into permanent homes (as opposed to a temporary separation from family or placement for some other reason).? Statistics for these children are nearly identical to those worldwide with regards to the fact that without stable, permanent, loving homes, the vast majority will be affected by theft, prostitution, homelessness, substance abuse, incarceration, and/or suicide.? As a former specialist for the Foster Care Review Board, I have seen firsthand the devastating impact that a life of inconsistent or even nonexistent love can have on the life of a child.? To feel hopeless from an early age does not leave very far to travel.

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Questions to ask?

While the need is pressing, adoption is a major decision with life-changing implications?is it right for everyone to consider it an option?? In my opinion as a social worker, no.? There are ways of reaching out and supporting adoption and adoptive families without necessarily taking the journey on a personal level.? Here are some questions and considerations to think through:

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• Why do you, or would you, want to adopt?
• Is adoption right for your family?? Does your family (as it is now) have the time, commitment, lifestyle and support that would be demanded of it?
• Would an ?open? or ?closed? adoption be more appropriate for your family?? {An open adoption is one in which the lines of communication between biological parent and child are open, and a closed adoption does not allow for such communication; there are varying degrees of open and closed adoptions depending upon the circumstances}.
• What about private adoption vs. fostering a child to adopt? {Licensing for foster care and adoption are two completely separate legal processes and have different needs and requirements altogether}.
• What age(s) are you considering for adoption?
• Are you open to adopting a child with special needs?
• How do you feel about transracial adoption?
• How should you go about choosing an adoption agency?

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Resources for Those Adopting or Considering Adoption

I am currently serving as a community liaison for the church that I attend, and have recently discovered that several churches offer adoption/orphan care ministries that serve as great resources for parents in any stage of adoption, from consideration to post-adoption transition and more.? Also, some great information and publications for download or purchase from the Center for Adoption Support and Education, Inc. can be found at www.adoptionsupport.org

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Is Adoption Normal?

The average American family may never consider the possibility of adoption because from a cultural standpoint, it may not be deemed ?normal.?? We as a culture are so proficient when it comes to fulfilling the status quo, at least in the United States, that the simple thought of going outside the bounds of ?normalcy? may be difficult to conceive (excuse the pun)?statistics regarding adoption show that the primary reason a couple chooses to adopt is because they have difficulty conceiving biological children and choose the journey of adoption without necessarily having considered it before crossing that barrier.?? I have wrestled with the idea of adoption as a mom of two biological children, as a former social worker and as one involved in ministry.? Should it be a last resort?? I would venture to say that any parent who has been through the adoption process would testify to the sheer grace and joy that overflows from parenting a child who was so longed for and sought after? I don?t believe that adoption is right for every child and every family.? But wouldn?t the world look so differently if it weren?t merely an exception to the rule?? I have to answer that question with my life?not in whether or not I choose to adopt a child, but in my attitude and awareness by not turning a blind eye.?? Moms don?t need any more guilt hovering on our shoulders?my hope for myself and those reading would be to simply open our eyes a little wider to the needs around us and do what we can to reach out, whether directly or indirectly.

Angela is a stay-at-home mom of two boys, Greyson (4) and Gavin (almost 2), whom she adores, and wife to husband, Matt, a local student pastor.? She worked for the Foster Care Review Board prior to employment in student ministry and becoming a mom.? She is openly considering adoption and whether it is where God is leading her family.

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Source: http://www.icanteachmychild.com/2011/08/open-arms-series-adopting-in-the-u-s/

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